YUGIDOH!
by The Bovinator
Summary: Welcome to a land of magic, card games F$%ked up hair!


YU-GI-DOH!  
  
By Liquid Snake  
  
A fanfic based on the anime show Yu-Gi-Oh! It is NOT meant to be taken seriously. If you are a fan of Yu-Gi-Oh!, you will not enjoy this.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!, and frankly, I'm fine with that. I think the show sucks, and I'm only writing this because I feel like mocking the show, and I want to see how ticked my friends who like the show will get when they read this. I'm not making money, so don't sue me. I need all the money I can get to bribe the prison warden to let me use the computer.er, nevermind. Enjoy!  
  
Oh, the only characters I'm going to use are Yugi, Kaiba, Joe, and Pegasus, since they are the only ones whose names I know.  
  
One fine day in the land of Duel Monsters, Yugi, duelist of the afore mentioned cards, was walking on his merry way with his friend Joe. "Lala-lalala! Lala-lalala!" "Yugi, shut up." "Why should I? Lala-lalala! Lala-lalala!" "Yugi, a master duelist doesn't sing little baby songs. If you ever want to rescue your grandpa, the first step is for you to stop singing!" "But singing is fun! And the only reason I want to save my grandpa is that he owes me some Christmas and Birthday presents! Lala-lalala! Lala-lalala!" "Yugi, for the last time, SHUT UP!" All of a sudden, a man in a purple trench coat appeared in front of them. "Yugi! I am Kaiba, Champion of Duel Monsters! Duel with me!' Yugi smiled, and began to jump up and down while flapping his hands up and down in the "giddy schoolgirl" style. "Yay! Yay! A match! And afterwards, I can sing my song to you! Lala-lalala! Lala-lalala!" "Shut up and fight me, Yugi." Right then, one of those dueling arenas appeared from nowhere. Joe muttered under his breath. "How do those damn things manage to appear everywhere there is a duel going on?" Kaiba answered, "They have some psychics who read people's mind and can tell beforehand when a duel will happen." Just then, Tom Cruise appeared on the scene. "So you're the jerks who stole my psychics! I need those for my movie, Minority Report, due in theaters this summer!" Tom then flashed his blinding smile, which flash blinded Yugi, Kaiba, and Joe with its glaring reflective power. "ARRGH! WE CAN'T SEE!" "Oh, sorry.. So, who has my psychics?" "Pegasus, the inventor of Duel Monsters. Yugi, is that you?" "Hey, get off of me!" "Oh, thanks. See you!" "How are we supposed to see you? We're blind?" "Not my problem." Once Tom Cruise left and everyone's vision returned, the match began. A bright light encircled Yugi. "YU-GI-OH!" Once the light cleared, Yugi was a bit taller, and had a much more masculine voice. "Now we will duel. Damn, that sounded corny. I need a new line." Joe walked into a tree. "Yugi! You're freakin' light trick blinded me again! And what is with your voice? You sound like you just had fifty pounds of testosterone dumped into your bloodstream." "The Millennium Puzzle gives me the power of some ancient Pharaoh with an unpronounceable Japanese name." "But Japan has nothing to do with Egypt." "Err. does to. And shut up!" "That's my line, you punk!" Kaiba asked, "Are we going to duel or what?" "SHUT UP! You look like a reject from That 70's Show!" "Whatever! We need to get started. I wager two star chips on this match!" "Wager! What!? Officer, arrest this man for gambling with a minor!" A fat police officer appeared out of nowhere. "So yer trying to corrupt our youth, you bastard? You are going on death row for this!" "DEATHROW! You can't do this to me! You son of a-." "C'mon, crook!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" After Kaiba was taken away, a man with long silver hair appeared from nowhere. Yugi gasped. "It's Pegasus, creator of Duel Monsters!" Joe began to laugh. "Pegasus? What kind of stupid-ass name is that? 'Look, I'm Pegasus, and I'm going to impale you with my horn.'" SMACK! Pegasus bitch smacked Joe, who then fainted. "Now, let us begin." Yugi replied, "First I must know something; why do you want to play me?" "You told Tom Cruise where his psychics were. I needed those!" Tom Cruise walked by. "Yeah, thanks Yagi!" "It's YUGI!" "Okay YOGI!" "YUGI!" "Sure thing, YQGI!" "YQGI! What the hell is that?" Pegasus interjected, "I play my first card: Cheap Victory! I win!" "You can't do that!" "I made Duel Monsters! I can do whatever I want! And I get to keep your Grandpa!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"  
  
Will Yugi ever rescue his Grandpa? Will Joe ever wake up? Will Pegasus ever play fair? Will they let Kaiba go? Will Minority Report be worth seeing? Does anyone even care?  
  
The answers:1) No, of course not, then the show would be over,2) we hope not,3) no, 4)no, he got the chair,5) dear god, no, and 6) I hope not, because this is-  
  
THE END 


End file.
